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The scenario: “I recently received a message that said, ‘Damn you’re a pretty white girl, you into muscular black men?
’” — Kristen, 27The problem..the solution: Aside from the obvious inappropriate nature of the comment to a complete stranger, men should never mention their physical characteristics or their own body parts in an introductory message.
When he picked up a coffee cup, I seriously thought he was going to spill hot java across the entire table. But, as it turned out, we had nothing to talk about. On the other hand, I had a great first date with someone we’ll call Luke.
This man was so nervous his hands would not stop shaking. Luke and I went to a hole-in-the-wall ethnic food place, and while I didn’t care for the food, I was refreshed by the fact that he was interesting and interested in learning more about me.
Or if you feel compelled to bring it up, say something like, “I’m not interested in meeting anyone else online. Trust us, she’s getting a boatload of uninspiring messages like “Hi, how are you?
” and “You’re gorgeous, I’d love to chat.” If you want to get her attention, try doing something a bit more personal.
Women are easily scared away online, so you should avoid saying anything remotely controversial or predatory.
Stick to neutral subjects — like mentioning a common ground you share based on something you read in her profile.