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They don’t even know their weaknesses and that’s when I’m thinkin’, they’re not ready. and in that context, Matthew , which John opened with, which is seeking God first, which is the bottom line, you use that thread throughout your book to kind of bring people back to the anchor. I actually, interestingly enough, that’s what I applied when I was single. If infatuation isn’t enough, what to become infatuated with somebody who would be sterling marriage material. They called them “round people.” And the problem is, that they were becoming too powerful and threatening the gods.That was the very verse about wanting to do it God’s way. it was fabulous and I met Jean in a very, I think, God-centric way. But you’re just not marrying--Jim: Well, it’s not ... So, Zeus came up with the plan, I’m gonna cut ‘em in two, separate the two halves.If a guy is in a dating relationship or he’s got a series of dating relationships, he’s not behaving himself sexually, he says to him, go ahead and get married. It seems to me those can be in conflict at times, because infatuation, that’s the ... There has to be sufficient time till you get through that brain fog and you can have an accurate picture of who really am I relating to? Helen Fisher is a biological anthropologist and she’s actually studied this. Gary: One, recognize what infatuation is doing to you. And so, just enjoy the feeling, but recognize I’m very vulnerable to my feelings.
Those things that our culture values, that’s not the “why” of marriage. And so, if we don’t know the “why,” we can’t know whether somebody qualifies as a good “who.”Jim: Gary, with that in mind, should a couple wait a couple of years so that infatuation stage passes them and their clarity comes and the fog of the moment uh ... Gary: I’m asked that all the time, Jim and here’s the thing.
And I’ve seen so many people that went through a broken process and didn’t end up with a mate that is an encourager, that is a godly person. and the challenge is, as you hinted at, this is a consequential decision. a good marriage is like the gift that keeps on giving. It becomes a part of your history, a part of your life.
But certainly, the process to get there was broken.
John Fuller: Jesus said, “Seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.” Now you perhaps have heard that saying and if you’re single, I wonder if you’ve ever kind of applied that to your relationships, particularly to finding a good, godly spouse. He’s written a book, and Gary, you’ve been on the program so often, you’re like a comfortable suit. And if those three things are present, they think, well, this is a ... And if they’re a Christian, then what’s the problem? But those things have been proven to hold a marriage together. Infatuation we’ll get into, neurologically is proven to always fade rather quickly.
That’s our subject on today’s Focus on the Family, hosted by Focus president and author, Jim Daly and I’m John Fuller. Sexual chemistry, though it’s an important part of marriage, it doesn’t hold a marriage together. I think of a Hollywood actress who was involved in a cable television show.