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Say things that you want to follow through with out loud. Having—and setting—levels of reasonable expectations for your relationship is a healthy way to keep it strong. We’re not talking changing your laugh or your style, but if you know that your partner really hates it when you leave the kitchen counter cluttered, try to make a point of clearing it off before he gets home. If it’s you, announce it early and let them know you need the support. Bringing home a pack of their favorite candy/magazine/book by a favorite author never gets old. Graham Parsons has a song lyric that says “I just want to hold you, I don’t want to hold you down.”Let that be your motto when you’re giving your partner advice.

When you and your partner see positive actions, solutions, or behavior in one another, acknowledge it and remind each other to keep it up. Establish genuine connections with the other’s friends and family. This is the stuff that makes the world go ’round, people! Pay attention to the tiny things that bother your partner, and if it’s painless for you, work to change them. If your partner’s day sucked and yours was just “eh,” let them have the pity (and the control of the remote, and the choice of take-out).

Kissing is something that is often set to the side the longer a couple has been together. Don’t hold onto that thing your lover said or did six months ago and bring it up each time you get mad at him. Being able to listen to each other—even when the details are mundane—is important. From how to deal with jealousy to how to get over a potentially deadly lull, we’ve got 101 relationship tips that you can start implementing right now. One of the biggest relationship tips is to give your undivided attention when your partner is speaking. Giving back is a great way to keep perspective of how great your relationship is, and how lucky you both are. Being part of a couple is hard, but the best relationship tips are really all about maintenance. Have a handful of great friends or family members you can call so your significant other doesn’t have to hear every small grievance going on your life. It’s is one of the most important things you can do. You’ve got to keep things fresh, find time for each other, and come up with ways to navigate the tricky ups and downs every partnership faces. Try grabbing some girlfriends for an overnight or a weekend getaway every few months.

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