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Related: Two Questions Your Middle Schooler Has About Puberty and Love (and How to Answer Them) Kids in middle school mature at vastly different rates.While I would caution you against making assumptions about kids who have an interest in dating at this age, and what this says about their character, I would also encourage you to be observant of serial-dating.- What if my child starts on a path toward physical intimacy?What if he or she isn’t mature enough to know how to say no?Do I want to be the kind of person who likes Chance the Rapper or Bruno Mars? Related: The Neurological Reason Why Your Middle Schooler Acts Like a Toddler Not until early adulthood do we stop questioning what each decision says about our identity and that’s because by early adulthood we’re ready to focus on someone other than ourselves: a partner.If your child wants to date in middle school, it probably has less to do with partnership, and more to do with searching for an answer to the persistent question: “Am I the type of person someone could like? You may draw a hard line against dating, but in middle school, kids can be more attracted to both people and things their parents prohibit.Keeping a neutral expression while you talk will help tremendously. While you have a web of questions in your head about young dating, most of the decisions I see middle schoolers make relate back to just one question: This isn’t a philosophical question.It’s a very concrete litmus test for daily, minute-by-minute decisions. What will each and every decision say about who I am to the people around me?
When a middle schooler wants to date or go out, we’re left wondering, “What does middle school dating even mean? Is it spending time together at the mall or movies?
Be brave enough to have hard conversations about physical and emotional intimacy and reputation and anything else that concerns you.
And remember to have this conversation in a way that respects their need to feel grown up with your need to protect them.
Research shows that kids who feel the need to be in back-to-back relationships throughout middle school are more likely to engage in high risk behaviors in high school and beyond.
So while thinking about or dabbling in this grown up part of life is normal, you may consider counseling if your child is habitually experimenting with relationships at a young age.